VAN GOGH'S BOOTS excerpt
LEFT prepares itself, clears throat etc. It speaks to van Gogh in a measured tone.
LEFT Vanzon? Might I exchange some words with you? The burnt umber beneath the rolling veronese and veridian green and the lemon and cadmium yellow beneath the cobalt blue and zinc white above are all calling out to you as indeed am I with my comrade here, Right, calling you to take action and to raise yourself from your posterior into a horizontal position and-
RIGHT GET UP OFF YOUR ARSE AND MOVE!!!
LEFT I was getting through to him there. Why did you have to go and ruin it?
RIGHT Sometimes you need to just get to the point and less of the fancy words-
LEFT You are so impetuous sometimes!
RIGHT Bet that’s not even a real word-
LEFT It is! And words are how we get on, and move forward.
RIGHT So where are the other words for my (singing) LEFT RIGHT RIGHT LEFT RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT LEFT LEFT RIGHT music?
LEFT has no response.
BEAT
RIGHT He just doesn’t like movers. He would probably prefer us not to move at all. It was different in Paris. Like those little people and trees.
LEFT That’s right Right, a place, a street, lots and lots of people. And trees, it looked like the place where the one before ‘him’ was moving.
RIGHT That was a, oh, what did he call it? A small place, the trees were much smaller. And the people didn’t move.
LEFT You’re right-
RIGHT I know. He called it something, some thing pain. Pain-Thing.
LEFT Painting.
RIGHT Yes, and he had that at home when he was staring squinting at us all day.
LEFT You’re right, and then he put the painting on that object where he stands, or sits?
RIGHT His ‘eas-sick’.
LEFT Eas-el.
RIGHT That easy-thingy, he still just says nothing when he is beside it moving his hands around and looking, doing nothing. And if he did say something, we would understand nothing because he doesn’t speak French with us.
LEFT You’re right
RIGHT I know I am right
LEFT I mean that you are correct right, right as in correct
RIGHT Oh right.
LEFT Correct.
RIGHT Wait. Does that mean that all the other times you said I was right, you meant that I was correct?
LEFT What do you mean?
RIGHT I mean did you say right as in correct, or that that is my position? Left right left right left right?
LEFT No, it can’t be that. You’re not always right, even if you always are Right… Does that mean that when you say left that you mean my position or that I am left, still here?
RIGHT No, it can’t be that. We’re both left, both still here.
LEFT You’re right.
RIGHT And you’re left.
LEFT Good we sorted that out. Something accomplished for today. Might be the only thing we get accomplished today.
end of excerpt